—- It is the year 2435. Cities float above the clouds and humans co-exist peacefully with an alien spider-race from a distant nebula. Images and thoughts are transmitted telepathically and video is a dead technology.
Late one night a young student is trawling his university’s archives for information about this ancient format, on which he is basing his thesis. He comes across a video log from 2012, a time when video was becoming phenomenally popular —-
Ah, this is nice, it’s good to just kick back in this clean white space, and it looks like it’s just me in here. None of the mp3 crowd trying to outdo each other for volume, no jpegs flaunting themselves at anyone who’ll look. A bit of peace and quiet is exactly what I need after all that cutting and stitching.
I’ll catch my breath for a few minutes and then try and figure out how I can get out of here, my view count isn’t going to go up just hanging around in this place.
An entire hour of searching and I still can’t find an exit. Even more annoyingly every so often a huge mouse gets and zips around for a bit, it’s offputting but seems harmless enough. If only I could find out how it gets in.
I start to drift off. There hasn’t been much activity for the last hour or so but suddenly the mouse is back and all over me in an instant. Before I can get free a vortex opens and I’m sucked into it, spinning helplessly as I hurtle along a strange, neon-lit tunnel.
Milliseconds later I’m dumped into what appears to be a huge storage facility with a massive flat roof. There’s millions of videos everywhere, dusting themselves off before being plucked up by tiny cranes and deposited in the rectangular units that make up the roof. Ninja Cat 2 reads the door closing behind the unit into which a smug looking video has just been placed.
My turn comes soon enough and before long I’m being hoisted into the air and flying towards a unit of my own. Ninja’s was almost dead centre in the noisy, busy room, full of videos starting, pausing, replaying, but I seem to be heading out towards the far perimeter.
It’s quieter here and I pass some tired, old, lonely looking videos as I come to a stop below my new home. As I’m pushed up across the threshold and the door closes behind me I can see that the other side of the roof is perfectly clear, a window looking in. This is a step up from where I came from.
Almost instantly there’s a pair of eyes looking down at me and I kick into action. A little box near me shows my view count tick up to 1 as I do my thing: zooming, panning, cleanly cutting from one frame to another without the slightest hint of fade or starwipe. If I keep performing like this it won’t be long till I’m relocated to that prime real estate with Ninja and the other big-timers….
As the days pass my view count steadily climbs. Viewers seem to like me and I’m up to over 30,000 views. Every so often I get a request to make a guest appearance on a blog or a website, so I nip off to hang out with a new crowd for a bit.
After a while I’m up to almost 100,000 views and the days are all merging into one, it’s exhausting having to perform for so many viewers but it’s what I was made for, and lets be honest – I love it. One day I’m doing my thing when I get a request to head over to a new place. Always on the lookout for new gigs and extra publicity I accept and find myself in a futuristic looking area full of videos.
It’s like the other production facility, just a little smaller with clean white floors illuminated by a large golden orb, it’s cool in here. I can see that one by one the other videos are being taken through to an area that’s heaving with what look like products. I spot Ninja ahead of me as he nervously tiptoes through the entrance, the bravado of before has disappeared, and I hear the roar of the products as they try and push to the front of the crowd. Suddenly that enormous mouse is back, grabbing products and dragging them up to the video. It doesn’t seem happy with any of them initially and neither would I, they don’t really match.
Before long though a product is dropped next to the video and you can tell straight away it’s a good fit – cat food product – cat video, a nice celebrity endorsement. There’s a murmur of approval from the videos watching the scene alongside me and within moments the mouse has dragged them both off through a portal.
Soon its my turn, the other videos all seemed pretty happy with their products so I’m not too nervous about it now. I’m still not entirely sure why I’ve been brought here, but might as well see what happens. The mouse is a bit more assertive this time, more certain of the product it wants to pair me up with. Before long I’m rubbing shoulders with a pretty attractive one. It’s high-quality, alluring, right up my street.
As me and the product are dragged through the portal a small social-looking button piles in with us at the last minute. A ropelike helix of ones and zeros binds us together, and suddenly we’re shooting off again…
It turns out me and the product are a pretty good team. We’ve had loads of extra gigs on some high-profile websites and blogs and viewers are loving our double-act: I build them up with great material, colourful visuals and a sweet soundtrack; while product sits in the corner, ready to offers its services at any time. Social sits quietly near product and gets a bit of interest too. Every time a viewer engages her me and the team get called off for an appearances on Facebook, Google+ and email inboxes and the show starts all over again.
This is turning out to be a great working relationship. Product gives my viewers something extra, I’m getting more hits than ever before and social is doing some great PR work for the team. All this publicity has led to a change of quarters back at my main accommodation. I’m rolling with the heavy-hitters now, housed right in the middle of the giant roof. Some of the red piping that adorns the facility even frames my unit.
When I was being moved I flew past the new Bieber video en route to my new unit and he gave me a nod. I’m not really a fan of his, something just doesn’t sit right. But still, recognition is recognition. I’ve made the big time.
—– Log terminated —-